Available in: English   Turkish   Go to media page

We Need to Polish Our Manners

Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani

26 July 2013 Burton, Michigan

Jumu’ah Khutbah at As-Siddiq Mosque

O Muslims, Believers! Have taqwa. Taqwa is to show Allah (swt) obedience, as He said in the Holy Qur’an:

أَطِيعُواْ اللّهَ وَأَطِيعُواْ الرَّسُولَ وَأُوْلِي الأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ

Atee`oollaha wa atee`oo 'r-Rasoola wa ooli 'l-amri minkum.

Obey Allah, obey the Prophet, and obey those in authority among you. (Surat an-Nisa, 4:59)

“Obey Allah, obey the Prophet (s) and obey those who are on authority,” or the elderly, those who are older than you, or those who are scholars, obey them. If you obey the Prophet (s) you are obeying Allah (swt), and Allah sent the Prophet (s) Rahmatan li ’l-`Alameen, as mercy for humanity, in order to complete and perfect our manners. Prayers, fasting, zakaat, hajj, tawheed, Kalimat ash-Shahadah, all of them are instruments and ways to polish our characters and manners. As it is necessary to polish the heart it is also necessary to polish our behavior toward each other. It is not enough to do our five obligations and sit back, no.

It is also to follow, as the Prophet (s) described to Jibreel (a) when he asked him about Maqaam al-Ihsaan, the Level of Ihsaan, the moral excellence, how to behave with each other, how a child behaves with his father and mother, how the father and mother behave with that child. The Prophet (s) used to call on Fatima (as) and say to her, “Send me Hasan (as) and Husayn (as).” They were young. “Send them to me.” For what, why was the Prophet (s) asking her to send them to him? Because he wants to to show love to her and her children; he wants to show the love he has in his heart for his two grandchildren, Sayyidina Hasan (as) and Sayyidina Husayn (as). When they came running to him he used to kiss them and love them, he used to smell them. Are you kissing your children? Are you showing them love to make them feel happy or are you boycotting them and not bothering with them? Islam doesn’t accept that; Islam wants the father and the mother to show their children love, because Allah (swt) said:

قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَاللّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

Qul in kuntum tuhibboona 'Llaaha fattabi`oonee yuhbibkumullaahu wa yaghfir lakum dhunoobakum w 'Allaahu Ghafooru 'r-Raheem.

Say (O Muhammad), "If you (really) love Allah, then follow me! Allah will love you and forgive your sins, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surat Aali-'Imraan, 3:31)

وَمَا آتَاكُمُ الرَّسُولُ فَخُذُوهُ وَمَا نَهَاكُمْ عَنْهُ فَانتَهُوا

Wa maa ataakumu ’r-rasoolu fakhudhoohu wa maa nahaakum `anhu fantahoo.

And whatever the Messenger has given you, take! (Surat al-Hashr, 59:7)

And the Prophet (s) showed us how much he loves his grandchildren: when Sayyidina al-Hasan (r) and Sayyidina al-Husayn (r) jumped on his back when he was praying, he did not raise his head from sajda until they stepped down; he used to keep in sajda until they get bored and no longer want to sit on his back and they get off, and then he comes up from sajda. Or else, he would keep making sajda; even if it is one hour, he would make sajda for one hour until they get off his back.

I am seeing too many children being left on their own without guidance. You are responsible for guiding your children, and the children are responsible to behave well to their parents, especially to their father, the one who raised them and worked hard in order to prepare a bite for them to eat. The mother doesn’t work, she raises them at home; her work is to raise the children, Islamically, but now today everyone is working because the situation is changing. They say, “It’s not enough for one person to work, we need two persons to work.” It’s up to them, but what we want to say is that the father is running from morning to evening to provide for his wife and to all his children. So there is a responsibility on the children also.

Allah (swt) said:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا

Wa qadaa rabbuka allaa ta`budoo illaa iyyaahu wa bi ‘l-waalidayni ihsaanan immaa yablughanna `indaka ’l-kibara ahaduhumaa aw kilaahumaa fa laa taqul lahumaa uffin wa laa tanharhumaa wa qul lahumaa qawlan kareema.

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (Surat al-Israa, 17:23)

Wa laa taqul lahumaa uffin wa laa tanharhumaa wa qul lahumaa qawlan kareema, “If your father or mother calls upon you or ask you to do something, don’t say ‘Oof!’” Don’t answer back, keep quiet and do what they ask. Can you answer back to the general in the army? The home also has a general, the father and the mother. Wa qadaa rabbuka allaa ta`budoo illaa iyyaahu wa bi ‘l-waalidayni ihsaanaa. Allah (swt) put `ibaadah together with being muhsin to your parents, wa bi ‘l-waalidayni ihsaanaa. Allah said, “Don’t worship other than Him, wa bi ‘l-waalidayni ihsaanaa, and for the parents, show them good manners, not to answer them and not to come against them, not to say to your parents, “Oof! What is this? You are old-fashioned!” If your father is reading Holy Qur'an, you say, “What are you reading? You are old-fashioned! Read a drama book, a fiction book, a history book, it’s better for you.”

Shaytan is running after us, even when we are in Ramadan. So the best of children are those who listen to their parents and obey them, and the best of parents are those who look after their children and show them love and haaniyya, softness, not to be hard and rude. You don’t smile; you are so serious as if there is in front of you something like a lion that wants to eat you. Both sides, the children have to show respect to their parents and the parents have to show love to their children.

This is the month of Ramadan, the month of the ummah, in which Allah (swt) dresses everyone who is fasting with His Rahmah. The first ten days, which has already passed, Allah (swt) dressed every one of us, every mu’min and Muslim who is fasting, especially in Ramadan. It’s not in any other month, only in Ramadan:

شهر رمضان أوله رحمة ، وأوسطه مغفرة ، وآخره عتق من النار

Shahru Ramadaan awwalahu rahmah wa awsatahu maghfirah wa aakhirahu `itqun min an-naar.

The first (ten days) of the month of Ramadan is mercy, the second (ten days) is forgiveness and the last (ten days) is salvation from the Fire. (Bayhaqi)

Awwalahu rahmah. In the first ten days Allah dressed you with His Rahmah (Mercy), and who is that Rahmah? Ar-Rahma ‘l-Muhdaat, The Gifted Mercy to the ummah, who is Sayyidina Muhammad (s)! It means Allah asked His Prophet (s) that if we did something wrong to intercede for us immediately according to the strong hadith, sahih hadith, where the Prophet (s) said:

قال رسول الله ص حياتي خير لكم تحدثون ويحدث لكم ومماتي خير لكم تعرض علي أعمال لكم فإن وجدت خيراً حمدت الله وما وجدت غير ذلك استغفرت لكم.

Qaala rasoolullahi sall-Allahu `alayhi wa sallama: hayaatee khayrun lakum tuhadithoon wa yuhdatha lakum wa mamaatee khayran lakum tu`radu `alayya `amalukum fa in wajadtu khayran hamadtu’Llah wa maa wajadtu ghayra dhaalika astaghfarta lakum.

My life is a great good for you: you relate from and narrations are related to you and my death contains good for you as well, for I observe the `amal of my ummah. If I find good I thank Allah, and if I see other than that, bad, I ask forgiveness for you. (Bazzaar)

“I observe the `amal of my ummah by Allah's Order.” The Prophet (s), in his life, in his grave, in the Day of Judgment, observes the `amal of his ummah. Allah gave him that. Tu`radu `alayya `amalukum. So in the first ten days, the `amal of Muslims is observed by the Prophet (s) by Allah’s Power. The Prophet (s) is saying, wa in wajadtu khayran hamadtu’Llah, “If I see good I thank Allah, I praise Him, I glorify Him; I glorify Allah, praise Allah and thank Allah that that `abd is good,” and he (that `abd) will be dressed immediately by that Mercy. Hamadtu’Llah, the Prophet (s) is thanking Allah on behalf of that servant who did well in the first ten days.

Wa awsatahu maghfirah. In the middle ten days is maghfirah, forgiveness, to those who are fasting, those who are showing respect, those parents who are showing love to their children and those children who are showing love to their parents, you are prohibiting yourself from eating and drinking, from backbiting, from fitna, from and from all things that Allah prohibited, you are prohibiting yourself from it. The Prophet (saw) is saying that Allah (swt) will give us maghfirah. That is the continuation of the hadith of Prophet (s) where he said, tu`radu `alayya `amal ummatee, wa in wajadtu khayran hamadtu’Llah,--he is observing, “I observe the `amal. If I see good, alhamdulillah,” if he doesn’t see good, wa in wajadtu ghayrah dhaalik, astaghfarta lakum, “If I find something other than good, I will ask forgiveness on your behalf.”

That means, in that first ten days the Prophet (s) is preparing us to be dressed with Rahmatullah, Allah's Mercy; in the second ten days he (s) is asking forgiveness on our behalf if we did something wrong. Of course everyone can do something wrong at any moment, no one is ma`soom, infallible. All of us make sins and you don’t know what kind of sin Allah (swt) ordered the angel...even if it is a small sin, we don’t know small from big. Today the sins come to your homes even! Through this Internet, computers and television, everywhere you look is a sin. Shaytan brought it, and they say, “Technology is modernity.” What kind of modernity and technology that takes us to Hellfire!

So Allah gave us Ramadan in order to be forgiven. In the second ten days, which we are in it now, the Prophet (s) is observing our actions by Allah’s Order: if there is something wrong he will ask forgiveness from Allah on our behalf, but we have to struggle and show we are doing something.

`Itqun min an-naar. And the third ten days is freedom from Hellfire. When Allah dressed you with His Mercy the first ten days and forgave you from your sins on the second ten days, the third ten days is freedom from Hellfire. It means, as the Prophet (s) mentioned, Allah will mercy the first ten day, forgive the second ten days and free you from any questioning on the Day of Judgment and send you directly to Paradise with those people who are fasting.

So then what is our job? To thank Allah (swt) and to find those who are older than us, those who are more educated than us, more enlightened, more dressed with knowledge, because we need guidance. No one can say, “I can guide myself.” No, even in the car today you put the GPS to guide you. To travel in this deen, religion, you don’t you need a guide? You need a guide, you need someone to show you the way!

Why do you see children gathered around one person? To show them the way, either a good person who will take them to good places like masaajid or a bad person who takes them to gangs to do something wrong.

إذا كنتم ثلاثة فأمروا أحدكم

Idhaa kuntum thalaathatun fa amiroo ahadakum.

The Prophet (s) said: If you are three, make one your leader.

“If you are three don’t be everyone with his opinion; put one ameer over you, one who is responsible.” Don’t say, “I don’t need,” because then you are objecting the hadith of the Prophet (s).

Today too many people say, “O! We don’t need guidance, we will guide ourselves.” Where do you want to guide yourself? Look in the Middle East countries: they are guiding themselves, they are killing each other in their demonstrations. What is the benefit of demonstrations in the streets? You don’t believe in Allah (swt)? Go to the mosque and pray and ask Allah:

ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

Idoo`nee astajib lakum.

Call on Me, I will answer you. (Surah Ghaafir, 40:60)

Allah will change for you; Allah will not send on you zhulma, darkness, or to be oppressed by others. Those whom Allah knows their hearts are good will be guided:

إِنَّكَ لَا تَهْدِي مَنْ أَحْبَبْتَ وَلَكِنَّ اللَّهَ يَهْدِي مَن يَشَاء وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِينَ

Innaka laa tahdee man ahbabta wa laakin Allaha yahdee man yashaau wa Huwa `alamu bi’l-muhtadeen.

It is true you (O Muhammad) will not be able to guide every one whom you love, but Allah guides those whom He wills and He knows best those who receive guidance. (Surat al-Qasas, 28:56)

“Don’t guide whom you like, Allah guides whom He likes!” and this month is the month of guidance. Look at Meccatu 'l-Mukarrama or Madinatu 'l-Munawwara. Who is sending these millions of people, who guided them? A scholar, an `alim, anyone? Why are they running toward Mecca for umrah, why are they running toward Madinah for ziyarah? Because in Mecca there is the House of Allah (swt) and in Madinah there is the Prophet of Allah (swt)!

So if someone guides you toward Mecca go with him, because that guidance is coming from Heavens. No one can enter Mecca or Madinah without permission by Heavens. Don’t think people going by themselves, no. When the permission comes--because these are two sacred places and the third sacred place is Masjid al-Aqsaa which inshaa-Allah will open up soon. Who will guide you, millions and millions of people, every moment there are people doing tawaaf. Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar. Al-`izzatu li ‘Llaahi wa li Rasoolihi wa li ‘l-mu’mineen!

What a religion Allah gave to us! What a religion Allah brought us in! We have to be happy. Al-kibriyaau lillah (pride is for Allah), but we are proud, and we can only say this in accepting in being in Islam; we are proud that Allah (swt) dressed us with Islam, with noor al-Islam, noor al-Imaan, without any work from ourselves. So the last ten days is `itqun min an-naar, Allah (swt) is freeing us from Hellfire.

Look for a guide in your heart. The Prophet (s) said:

إذا أراد الله بعبد خيرا جعل له واعظا من قلبه

Idha araada-Llaha bi-`abdan khayran ja`ala lahu waa`izhan min qalbih.

If Allah wants goodness for a servant of His, He will make for him an advisor in his heart. (Imam Ahmad)

“If Allah loves one person, loves an individual, anyone,” because if you show Allah love Allah will show you love, “he will make for him a guide in his heart.”

ومن تقرب إلي شبراً تقربت منه ذراعاً

Man taqarrab ilayya shibran taqarrabtu minhu dhiraa`an.

If he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length (Hadith Qudsi)

So Allah is waiting for us to come and say, “Yaa Rabbee! We are coming to You. Open Your door for us, laa ilaaha illa-Llah Muhammadun Rasoolullah!” Come to Allah (swt); He is The One Who will dress you with His Maghfirah, not anyone else. The Prophet (s) will intercede, yes, Allah will give him shafa`ah:

مَن ذَا الَّذِي يَشْفَعُ عِنْدَهُ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِهِ

Man dha ’Lladhee yashfa`u `indahu illaa bi-idhnih.

Who is there that could intercede with Him unless it be by His leave? (Surat al-Baqarah, 2:255)

Allah will give shafa`ah to the Prophet (s) on the Day of Judgment for his ummah, but what do we have to do?

لاَ يَشْكُرُ اللَّهَ مَنْ لاَ يَشْكُرُ النَّاسَ

Laa yashkuru ‘Llaaha man laa yashkuru ‘n-naas.

Abu Hurayrah (r) related that the Prophet (s) said: He who does not thank Allah does not thank people. (Abu Dawood)

He said, “You are not considered thanking Allah if you dont thank the people of whatever they did for you from favors;” whatever they did for you from favors you have to thank Allah (swt) and thank those people who gave you that. So we have to thank Allah day and night, not just one time and we stop, but daily. When you are eating, say, “Shukran, yaa Rabbee! Alhamdulillah.” When you are drinking, say, “Alhamdulillah! Shukran lillah.” When you are wearing your clothes, as Allah gave us clothes, say, “Shukran, yaa Rabbee!” For electricity, “Shukran, yaa Rabbee!”

Look in the olden days they used to sit together under a candle or oil lamp. Today you don’t have to bother with that, you just push in a plug and the electricity is there, so we thank Allah (swt).

افضل الامة اخر الامة اخير الامة

Afdal al-ummah aakhir al-ummah akhyar al-ummah.

The Prophet (s) said: The preferred of the nation is the last of the nation.

The most favorable of the ummah is Ummat ar-Rasool (s). Afdal al-ummah aakhir al-ummah, “The best of the ummah are those who came after the Sahaabah (r) and the first, second and third century after the Prophet (s), and then those who are coming at the End of Times. Don’t say, “Ooh! We still have time; life is going to be thousands and thousands of years.” No, the Prophet (s) was preparing the Sahaabah (r) as if tomorrow is going to be the Last Day!

اقْتَرَبَتِ السَّاعَةُ وَانشَقَّ الْقَمَرُ

Iqtarabat as-saa`atu wa ’nshaqqa ‘l-qamar.

The Hour (of Judgment) is nigh and the moon is cleft asunder. (Surat al-Qamar, 54:1)

From that time Allah said in the Holy Qur’an, “The Hour approached for the Day of Resurrection when the moon split (between the hands of Prophet),” and yet the moon splitting occurred in the time of the Prophet (s), so don’t say it is so far.

O Muslims! We are in the middle ten days of Ramadan; it is the days of maghfirah so try as much as you can to ask Allah for forgiveness.



© Copyright 2013 Sufilive. All rights reserved. This transcript is protected

by international copyright law. Please attribute Sufilive when sharing it. JazakAllahu khayr.