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Raise the Childish Ego on Islamic Behavior

Ramadan Series 2011, Volume 24

Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani

23 August 2011 Fenton Zawiya, Michigan

Suhbah after Salat al-Fajr

A`oodhu billahi min ash-Shaytaani 'r-rajeem. Bismillahi 'r-Rahmaani 'r-Raheem.

Nawaytu 'l-arba`een, nawaytu 'l-`itikaaf, nawaytu 'l-khalwah, nawaytu 'l-`uzlah,

nawaytu 'r-riyaadah, nawaytu 's-sulook, lillahi ta`ala fee haadha 'l-masjid.

أَطِيعُواْ اللّهَ وَأَطِيعُواْ الرَّسُولَ وَأُوْلِي الأَمْرِ مِنكُم

Ati`oollaha wa ati`oo 'r-Rasoola wa ooli 'l-amri minkum.

Obey Allah, obey the Prophet, and obey those in authority among you. (4:59)

We are in a time when everyone wants everything for himself or herself; we are all trying to eat each other, as it is said:

الدنيا جيفة و طلابها كلابها

Ad-dunya jeefatun wa tulaabuhu kilaabuha.

This dunya is like a carcass, and its seekers are dogs!

“Dunya is like a dead carcass and people are like wild animals,” running to see who can take the first bite, not leaving anything to anyone.

O Human Beings! You are tanhashoon, scavenging for something that is going to disappear, so what is the benefit? If you were scavenging for something that is everlasting, alhamdulillah, that is good so try to do that, but don’t scavenge for something that will be here today and not tomorrow. As the Prophet (s) and Holy Qur’an mentioned (when Prophet’s teeth were broken in the Battle of Uhud, and Allah [swt] told Sayyidina Jibril [a], ‘If a drop of My Beloved’s blood falls to the Earth, I will send a drought upon it after which no food will grow!’ and Sayyidina Jibril rushed to catch the holy blood in his hands!), Allah (swt) will destroy this whole dunya completely and will bring another clean one for Judgment Day! Don’t think it is going to be the same dunya! Allah (swt) created dunya and human beings made bloodshed on it and Allah (swt) will not descend to judge His servants on a dirty place, as this dunya has now become dirty with the sins of human beings.

So what is our obligation? Prophet (s) said, al-jihadu jihadayn, “Jihad is of two different jihads.” From the meaning of this hadith, scholars were able to count fourteen different jihads from these two. The first one is jihad an-nafs, to struggle against yourself, not the jihad with weapons, as that is later. Al-jihadu jihadayn: jihad an-nafs wa jihad al-`adoo, “Jihad is of two: first, the jihad against your ego, then the jihad against your enemy.”

The Prophet (s) also said, “Teach your children to pray and to fast when they are young,” because, at-tifl an-nafs al-mazhmoumah, man shabba `ala shay shaaba `alay, “Who is raised on something, even when he is old and his hair is white, he will be as he was raised.” That is why the Prophet (s) ordered Muslims to raise their children on the love of Allah (swt), love of the Prophet (s), love of Holy Qur’an, love of fasting and love of praying, because when you are raised on that from childhood, then you can struggle against your desires. When you see a child pulling on his parents’ clothes, crying and crying because he wants something, Grandshaykh `AbdAllah al-Fa'iz ad-Daghestani (q) said, “Leave that child to cry; he is not going to die (from you denying him)! Raise them on discipline. If you give them what they want when they cry you will spoil them and the next time they will cry again for you to give them.”

Also, an-nafs al-bashariyya, the human self, is like a child crying until it gets what it wants and when it does it is finally satisfied. The more satisfying dunya is, the more the nafs wants it. As much as you don’t give the nafs what it asks for you will struggle, and that is not easy. Like disciplining a child, wa nafsak ka ’t-tifl, don’t let the self love dunya. A child likes to be breastfed, but when you don’t want to breastfeed anymore, you try to wean him. Some mothers apply chili oil or something sour as a deterrent to breastfeeding; however, were a mother to use something sweet, the child would not reject the milk.

To drop dunya from your eyes and eat from what is going to be everlasting is the biggest jihad! Awliyaullah have the power to do that because they were raised to not give the ego what it wants. However, we were raised to give our ego what it wants, which is why we are falling into problems, because we are not trying to prevent dunya from affecting us; we are running after dunya as its slave!

We have four enemies, nafs, dunya, hawwa and Shaytan, all four of which are after you every moment, so be careful! If you repent from many different sins and mistakes and leave behind all bad desires, without even feeling it you will begin to eat from that everlasting abode. Only Allah (swt) and His Prophet (s) know that they are preparing you for everlasting life of Akhirah, but if you want to continue with what you were raised on, you will prepare yourself to lose your Akhirah. May Allah protect us!

لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه

laa yu’minu ahadakum hatta yuhibu li akhihi maa yuhibu li nafsih.

(The Prophet (s) said:) You are not able to perfect your faith until you want for your Muslim brother what you want for yourself. (Bukhari)

So don’t argue or say, “I can do this or that.” If you want your imaan to be perfect, then you must like for your brother what you like for yourself, and to exhibit that you must help your brothers and sisters and share with them. You see many communities people of various ethnicities and faiths helping each other, but Muslims don’t; instead they fight and are very jealous from each other. This story explains why.

Once non-Muslims who were believers in their own religion but unbelievers in Islam came to the Prophet (s). SubhaanAllah, unbelievers saw the Prophet (s) and we are not seeing him! Can you imagine someone who is not believing had the opportunity to see the Prophet (s)? Do you think someone who is in the presence of the Prophet (s), even an unbeliever, will go away empty? That sacred gaze from Prophet's eye to them is enough to give them something to guide them later! How much awliyaullah cry for one gaze from the Prophet (s)!

Sayyidina Ahmad al-Rufa`i al-Kabir (r) of Egypt said in front of the Prophet's holy grave, roohee kuntu ursiluha tuqabbilu ardun wa hiya naa`ibatee, “I used to send my soul, yaa Sayyidee, yaa Muhammad, yaa Rasoolullah, to kiss your threshold, and it represents me on my behalf.” How does he send his soul on his behalf? It means his soul was free, able to travel out of his body and he sent it. haka dawlat al-ashbaah qad hadarat, “Now that kingdom of spirits has appeared before you.” famdud yameenuk kay aqbil biha shafatee, “Extend your hand, that my lips will be lucky to kiss it!”

Initially he sent his soul to visit the Prophet (s), and when he was given permission to physically visit, then he was clean, as is anyone who visits Prophet (s). To go there without visiting Madinah Sharif is disrespectful and you will then have no luck to see the Prophet (s); the whole intention of hajj is to see the Prophet (s)! Unfortunately, Muslims now lack that level of respect.

Unbelievers in the time of the Prophet (s) were so lucky to see him!. Sayyidina Ahmad al-Rufa`i al-Kabir (r) cried to visit the Prophet (s), but awliyaullah only move by permission, not by their own desires, so initially he didn’t want to go as he didn’t feel he is up to that level (to visit the Prophet). He went when he was granted permission, and the people witnessed the Prophet’s white hand coming out of the grave and Sayyidina Ahmad al-Rufa`i al-Kabir kissing it! Allah (swt) favored him to kiss the Prophet's hand, and this account was recorded in our Islamic history.

Grandshaykh (q) said, “In the time of Mahdi (a), before he appears, three-hundred of my real followers who reached a level for which they will be rewarded will accompany Sayyidina Yunus ath-Thaani, a wali who inherits from Sayyidina Yunus (a). By his invitation, three-hundred of them will come and the Prophet (s) will extend his white hand from the grave for them to kiss. These will be only from my followers who have been granted that reward.”

May Allah make us to be from them! That is why I am saying that those who saw the Prophet (s) in that time were lucky. The Sahaabah became Companions of the Prophet (s) because they saw and believed in him, and the unbelievers who saw the Prophet (s) were lucky because still they saw him! Only Allah (swt) knows what guidance they received from looking into his eyes.

Going back to the story related to us by Grandshaykh (q), the unbelievers came to see the Prophet (s) and said, “We have some questions for you, but our main question is when Muslims pray, we notice that all different thoughts of dunya and dirty gossips come to their minds. Outside of the prayer they are okay, but in the prayer all the images from what they did before, what they are doing today, and what they plan to do in the future come to them. The imam along with the ones praying behind him are losing as they are distracted from their prayers, and that’s why they don’t know how many raka`ats they have prayed: two, three, four, five? But when we pray, we are so devoted that nothing of dunya comes to our minds.” They meant to say, “Our religion is better than yours as it keeps us focused, but your religion makes you unfocused and distracted.” Then the Prophet (s) said, “Yaa Abu Bakr, you answer that,” because Allah (swt) perfected his character, as mentioned in the hadith of Prophet (s):

ادبني ربي فأحسن تأديبي

addabanee rabbee fa-ahsana ta'deebee.

Allah taught me and gave me the best manners.

Prophet (s) is a role model, so he didn't want to give the answer as it was rude, so he said, “Yaa Abu Bakr, you answer!” Sayyidina Abu Bakr (r) directed his answer to the highest one among them, and said, “I direct you to a question that will answer your question. If a thief comes to steal from a palace, does he steal from the palace first or from the stable outside it? (The thief runs to the palace as that is what is important, not a shack. There are only tools inside a shack and perhaps dirty tools that they don’t even clean. It might be a restroom also: do you go to a restroom to steal? You may go and take whatever you like from there.) O chief! We cannot estimate the value of the precious heart Allah (swt) gave us; no one can evaluate that as it is above any description, when imaan enters there. You steal from that precious one, not from the shack. When Shaytan comes, he says, ‘They are already in the shack, so why bother with them? I will begin with the ones that are in the palace, to steal the preciousness of their hearts.’ That’s why they come after us; they don’t need to come after you because you are already there!”

So the question is, how do Muslims have so many bad gossips in our minds? You might say someone is very righteous; you may see him praying a lot and you think he is very pure. So how they know that the Muslims have bad whispers? Did the Sahaabah (r) tell them? No, rather Allah (swt) threw the light of guidance into their hearts. When they heard the rude answer they immediately said, “Ash-hadu an la ilaha illa-Llah wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan Rasoolullah.” That answer warned them that they were already in darkness and Shaytan was happy with what they have so he passed their shack for the wealth in the palace, but they were guided to the Prophet (s).

If you want your imaan to be perfect, share with everyone the guidance Allah (swt) gave you; don't share wealth of dunya, but wealth of Akhirah! Guide others to the right way and Allah will be happy with you. Make them feel happy and that they are your brothers, do not destroy them with your anger!

When you struggle from childhood against your ego and perfect it, that starts with your parents not giving you all that you want. That is why too many Muslim children plead, “Can we skip our Qur’an lessons?” It is better to skip your science lessons! However, their parents give in, saying, “No problem, don't go to Qur'an class and instead study the secular sciences very well,” because that will make you in the shack (successful in dunya). Shaytan will come and say that is the palace, but they are in the shack so I won’t bother with them.” O parents! Give your child an honorable Akhirah, then Allah (swt) will send their rizq from every side without their effort!


Sayyidina Shah Naqshband (q) was very rich, as were all Sahaabah (r)--Sayyidina Abu Bakr, Sayyidina `Umar, Sayyidina `Ali--and Sayyidina `Uthman was the richest, while the Prophet (s) tied a stone on his stomach to fend off hunger. Mt. Uhud said to Prophet (s), “If you like, Allah will turn all of me into gold to support your message!” and the Prophet (s) replied, “We don't need that.”

In the Battle of Uhud, the enemy broke four of the Prophet’s teeth and Allah (swt) sent Sayyidina Jibril (a) who said, “That is fastest I ever moved from the Divine Presence to Earth to catch the teeth and blood of Prophet (s) from falling upon the Earth!”


If you look carefully, you see during the hijrah of Prophet (s), Ghari Thur came out to rescue and hide him from the unbelievers. Another example is when Mt. Uhud offered to become gold for the Prophet (s); that is why the Sahaabah (r) were not seeing the Prophet (s), as the cave of Uhud came and pulled the Prophet (s) inside. Allah (swt) said:

faoow ila al-kahf.

Run to the Muhammadan Cave (it will protect you).

So first struggle against your ego and then against the enemy; that is the true meaning of “jihad,” not to explode yourself in a suicide mission. Now they (ignorant scholars) say suicide bombing is “halaal bombing.” Allah (swt) gave you a spiritual sword to kill your ego. When you are raised on that discipline, then you can receive that sword.

May Allah (swt) bless us this morning and may He send us in that cave to be with the Prophet (s) and to visit the Prophet (s) with Sayyidina Yunus ath-Thani on the invitation of Mawlana Shaykh and Grandshaykh (q).

Bi hurmati 'l-habeeb, bi hurmati 'l-Fatihah.