Ladies Dhikr with Q&A Session
After ladies dhikr and Salaat al-`Asr with Mawlana Shaykh Hisham, Hajjah Naziha answers questions from women in attendance and from the Sufilive chatroom.
Q: How can we be better human beings?
A: Through love; by sharing with everyone your love, your life. Allah (swt) gave this religion to everyone, and still He is giving
to everyone. Love every human being before you give to your self. This is the way I believe. Give your love for all human beings.
This is my answer.
Q: What is the best way to teach my children?
A: First you are going to be very generous with them, and help them to care from a young age about our prayers. Keep them near you
at prayer time so they will become familiar with it and they will begin to learn religion from early childhood. Also, sometimes a child
accepts (our way) and sometimes not. So from the time they are young we must tell them stories with advice, that helps them learn
how to stay away from bad friends and how to not harm themselves (by doing bad things). Today it is very hard for the kids (with
so many bad influences around them).
Q: When we cook, what specific things should we do?
A: It is very important to be in ablution, wudu, and to be in a good mood, because a bad mood affects the food and anyone who eats
it, canbe affected by your bad mood. You need to recite the Name of Allah over the food, and we need to feed our families with
love. You are not cooking for other people, but for your family, and you must give them love, not anger. (And we need to take care)
...that our cooking is nice. If you make it a little salty or a little watery, people will say, "What kind of food are you cooking?"
Q: What if you are sad when you cook?
A: You make salawaat, think of your young children, that they are going to eat your cooking. Say to yourself, "This is not from my hand,
this is with the hand of Sayyidatuna Fatimah."
Q: How can we help our family members feel good?
A: Recite hasbun Allahu wa Ni`am al-Wakeel over water and blow on it. You, your children and your husband can drink it. Make enough
for one week. Also, you can recite 40 times Surat al-Fatihah and blow on water; your husband can drink. If anyone is not feeling well
or is in a bad mood, they can drink this. I learned this from my father, Mawlana Shaykh Nazim (q).
Q: How can I bring peace to my very angry husband?
A: What can I answer you, as this people are watching on the Internet! (laughter) Be patient. Rabia al-Adawiyya (q) was patient with her
husband who was a terrible drunk. He would come home at midnight, vomit, and she would clean him. She didn't say, "My husband is
bad." At night she waited for him with a water jar, and one time he woke up suddenly and snatched the jar from her hand. It was frozen
to her skin, and evenwhen he caused her pain, she didn't say anything. Another time he called her, and she didn't hear him because
she was praying. He heard people and looked through the keyhole of her door. He thought there were two people, but he only saw her.
He pushed the door open and asked, "Who is the other person in here with you?" She told him, "It is Sayyidina Shah Naqshband (q)."
(...sound cut...) He said, "Please, can I see?" She answered, "You are not ready." He kept bothering her, so she made salat and he saw
that beautiful light, but he could not carry it and he died!
(From this we learn) if you have patience with your husband, you will have a very high place. Every day pray two raka`ats. Be patient,
and inshaAllah Allah will give. You can say 100 times up to 1000 times Ya Haleem because this will make you calm down.
Q: Spiritually, what happens to the woman who disobeys her husband?
A: Prophet (s) said, "If we could make sajda to anyone other than Allah (swt), it would be from the wife to her husband."
Do not argue with him. InshaAllah you will go to Jannah before him, and Allah (swt) will ask him, "Are you happy for your wife?" He will
remember you caring for the children, taking care of the house and him, and he will answer, "Yes." Then you will enter Paradise! What
can we do? We (husbands/wives) are like the fingernail on the finger; one needs the other, and we can only cut the nail a little short.
Q: What about backbiting?
A: If you backbite anyone, they are going to ask Allah on the Day of Judgment, "Ya Rabbee, I don't need anything from this person, but give
the burden of my sins to them, and give me the blessing for all their good deeds!" Backbiting is like eating the raw meat of your brother or
sister, and it is a very bad thing in Islam. Don't backbite! Ask forgiveness from Allah (swt), pray two raka`ats and make tawbah. Say to
yourself, "I will not repeat this gossip," (and be strict about that).
Q: We try to be a close community of Naqshbandis, but how can we improve?
A: You can help each other and be together in good times and hard times. We are a small community here and we need to support one
another. If you hear anything bad from one person to another, meet face-to-face to clear it up, because sometimes it is only a
misunderstanding. Shaytaan loves to make Muslims to be enemies. You can make him the enemy, to throw him out of our group inshaAllah.
Q: How is Mawlana Shaykh Nazim and how do we connect with him spiritually?
A: Mawlana Shaykh Nazim is well and sends his regards for mureeds all over the world. Everyday on www.Sufilive.com he gives a
one-hour suhbah at 4:30 pm Cyprus time. He is very good alhamdulillah, and may Allah give him long life inshaAllah. To connect with
him spiritually, pray two raka`ats, sit and meditate as if you are sitting in front of him. You will see an image of him in your imagination;
this is real also. Try to make a connection in your heart, what we call rabitah.
Q: How do we know if we are feeling Mawlana Shaykh's presence, or if it is Shaytaan?
A: Shaytaan is not allowed to come in the form or image of awliyaullah. InshaAllah he did not come to you. If you feel the presence of the
shaykh, some people do not feel it, so congratulations. You can also ask Shaykh Raja Ashman (Mawlana Shaykh's reprsentative in Malaysia)
about this, and you pray istakhaara to seek guidance about your dream, and inshaAllah Allah will show you. Keep Allah's love in your heart
and make dhikr at least one time every week. Don't cut this practice as it builds your spiritual connection to your shaykh. OK? Also, make a
lot of salawat for Prophet (s), at least 100 to 1000 times a day, because if you love someone you repeat his name a lot, correct?
And read Dhalail al-Khayraat daily, because our life is always busy (and we must take time for these things).
Q: How can we increase our nearness to Prophet (s)?
A: InshaAllah you have that connection. Even if your ego tells you there is no connection, continue to do dhikr. Recite 500 salawaat on
Prophet (s) on Mondays, and 500 salawaat on Thursdays. InshaAllah you will increase it, and in akhirah Allah will remove the hijab (veil)
and we will be able to see him.
Q: How can we see awliyaullah and Prophet (s) in our dream?
A: Before you sleep, make a fresh wudu, pray two raka`ats (normal), make salawaat, and immediately go to bed. Lay down on your right side
with wudu, and continue reciting salawaat until you fall asleep. InshaAllah you will see them.
Q: How can I help my parents better understand tariqah?
A: This is very difficult. You must show them more love and more respect. And tell them about dhikr because it is not shirk; if you love
someone, you repeat their name all the time! Make more salawaat on Prophet (s) and more dhikr for Allah, because Allah says. "When
you remember Me, I remember you." InshaAllah one day your parents are going to taste the sweetness of Islam, because this tariqah
is like honey. We know honey is sweet because we have tasted it.
Q: Is it good to ask Allah (swt) to grant the thawaab (benefit) of our worship to others?
A: Yes, this is very good! (Hajjah Naziha makes du'a). We send our du`a on Prophet (s), all our shuyukh (q), our parents, grandparents,
ancestors, and on our family and all Muslims. We recite Surat al-Fatihah not just for one person, but we also include our descendants,
so after we pass away we leave something good. This way our "Book of Good Deeds" will never close, it will stay open, and we continue
to acquire hasanaat (goodness) and we will become saalih (pure). Give sadaqa for your mother's and father's souls. If anyone helps build a
mosque, Allah (swt) will not close his book of deeds. Who gives clean drinking water where there is none, who helps build a hospital or
clinic to help people, Allah gives them a big reward. My father gave sadaqa to people in Africa to make a water well, and from that never
his book of deeds will close, because the benefit of that sadaqa does not end, it continues to grow.
May Allah give Shaykh Nazim long life, that he doesn't leave us alone! Amin. Fatihah. Thank you!