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Five Types of Bad Friends You Must Stay Away From

Mawlana Shaykh Hisham Kabbani

22 September 2012 Singapore

Suhbah and Dhikr at Simply Islam Event

My respect to Hajji Ghulam and to those who are coming from Indonesia, Malaysia, America and from anywhere around the world, and to those who are listening on the Internet.

Alhamdulillah nasta`eenahu wa nastaghfiruhu wa nastahdee wa n`aoodhoo billahi min shuroori anfusinaa wa sayiaati `amaalinaa man yahdillahu fa laa mudilla lahu wa man yudlill fa laa haadiya lah.

“The one who is guided is guided, no one can deviate him, and the one who is deviated, no one can bring him back to the normal way.”

Before we begin we say, “Ash-hadu an laa ilaaha illa-Llah, wa ash-hadu anna Sayyidina Mawlana Muhammadan `abduhu wa habeebuhu wa rasooluh, `alayha nahyaa wa `alayha namoot wa `alayha nalqAllah. Allahumma salli `alaa sayyidinaa Muhammadini 'l-faatihi limaa ughliq, wa 'l-khaatimi limaa sabaq, naasiri 'l-haqqi bi 'l-haqq, wa 'l-haadi ilaa siraatika 'l-mustaqeem, wa `alaa aalihi haqqa qadrihi wa miqdaarihi 'l-`azheem.[Salawaat Fatih.]

Evil power is everywhere, like people who are extremist or terrorists, but good people are always there. Extremists and terrorist are very well known and the good power of the country keeps them in jail to prevent them harming innocent people. Countries always have their own intelligence agencies to keep the country safe, which is the duty of every government and every country, because people are surrendering to their leaders and they don’t know except them, and the leaders are looking after their citizens day and night. We thank them and say, “Continue your good work!” to every country around the world.

Also, the Prophet (s) said in a hadith related from Allah (swt):

أولياء الله تحت قبابي لا يعلمهم غيري

Awliyaa’ee tahta qibaabee, laa ya`lamuhum ghayree.

My saints are under my domes; no one knows them except me. (Hadith Qudsi)

What I mean here is that among the ummah, Allah (swt) has dressed His Friends, the saints, that can chain the power of the evil-doers of Shaytan and his army. They try their best to look after their followers, who are two kinds: those who know their guides physically and those who only have a spiritual relationship. So those who know the wali come together and try to polish themselves through dhikrullah and remembrance of ahadeeth of Prophet Muhammad (s), and those who don’t know the teacher may be everywhere, but they are the hazhahu, his share. Every shaykh has his own group, including individuals who don’t know him and who are all around the globe and the Shaykh’s nazhar is always on them. Allah (swt) gave him those people to look after and the power for them to do so was given by Prophet (s), as it is said:

علما امتي كانبيا بني اسرائيل

`Ulama ummatee ka anbeeya banee israa`eel.

The scholars are the inheritors of the Prophets. (Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi)

The `ulama, scholars, the pious people are inheritors of Prophets; they are not Prophets but they are mutaqeen, sincere and have taqwa, and Allah gave them special power through dreams or visions to reach this group who don’t know them, and He gave each of them a group among Ummat an-Nabi (s).

So we have to know there is an evil power everywhere, and you cannot chase this evil power, except through some kind of advice that warns you of them. Sayyidina Ja`far as-Saadiq (q), is one of the great saints of the Naqshbandi Order, and all the other Orders, because in him two knowledges meet: he received from both Abu Bakr (r) and Sayyidina Ali (r). So the Naqshbandi Order is the only order (where they meet), and as we mentioned yesterday, if you don’t want to call it “Tasawwuf,” call it “the Etiquette of Islam,” or “the Moral Excellence of Islam,” and Sayyidina Ja`far as-Saadiq (q) said, Laa tashab khamsa, “Don’t make friendship with five things, don’t accompany those five that carry these characteristics, be careful!” There are too many today who carry these characteristics and we have to try and avoid these characters. And I will come later to the main focus of the advice tonight.

He said, “Don’t accompany these five.” Be careful, beware! They say, “Beware of dogs!” and these are like dogs, be aware of Shaytan! This is not coming against their status as human beings but against their bad characteristics. Allah (swt) created them, but they dressed themselves with bad characteristics.

1 LIARS

The first one is the Liar, al-kadhaab. Don’t follow liars, don’t keep their company because they say, “Black is white,” and “White is black,” they have that tendency. In particular you see it in advertisements or commercials, they make black white, and white black. You cannot find a commercial that does not have a lie hidden in it. There must be a lie in them. So he said, “First, don’t accompany the liar, because he is so arrogant, he makes you think that he is above you and you are in need of him.” That is why today they use people’s names to raise themselves by saying, “We belong to that one, we follow that one.” They are lying to you. They are only claiming this for their benefit. So Sayyidina Ja`far (r) said, Khamsatun. Laa tashabu khamsatan. Awwal al-kadhaab, “the liar,” because he is arrogant and he is like a mirage who brings for you what is far and makes it very near, and what is very near he pushes it far. This means he brings the evil power to you, to turn you into a devil by saying, “These are the enemies of Islam or Ihsaan! Go and bombard them!” He is braining washing them! He is a liar. Why doesn’t he go first? Why don’t those who use young people go first? Because they know they will be killed. So don’t approach them, because they bring what is far and put it in your heart as if it is good and throw the good away!

2 THE EXTREMELY IGNORANT

Secondly, don’t accompany al-ahmaq, the dumb, don’t keep him in your company because he will not benefit you and will be a burden on you, and he will only cause you harm, he is dumb. He has no mind, no brain. You tell him, “This is the way.” He will say, “No, this is the way!”

Moderation is the way of the ummah qaalat an-Nabi:

Nahnu ummatan wasata.

We are a nation of the middle way (moderation).

We do not follow extremes on either side, we follow the middle way. The dumb one will tell you, “No go this way, go extreme!” No, we don’t want to go this way, so don’t accompany him.

3 MISERS

Then Sayyidina Ja`far (r) said, “Don’t accompany the stingy one,” al-bakheel, because he will cut you in the middle. When you need him, he disappears. You won’t see him again. What he promises, he doesn’t fulfill. He promises but doesn’t give it. So why waste your time with the one who is stingy? They have millions in the bank but they don’t care for giving to the poor in the Way of Allah. What are you losing by not accompanying them? Nothing.

4 COWARDS

Wa ‘l-jaban, don’t accompany the coward. He will put you in the front and run away. He would feed you to the hyenas and run away.

5 THE CORRUPT

Wa ‘l-faasiq, nor the corrupt one, as they say, “He will sell you for a meal.” He might sell you two or three times before you realize you’ve been sold! [Laughter.] Ayyuha ‘l-walad! Kun muslihan bayn an-naas wa laa takun fataanakum baynahum, “O my son! Bring peace and harmony among people, don’t be someone who spreads false rumors between them, don’t divide the community.” Kun muslihan, bring harmony between them, if someone comes saying something bad, go to this person and say, “O Mashaa-Allah! I heard this one speaking very nicely about you!” Bring harmony, don’t bring what is dirty and throw it in their faces. Don’t go back and forth between them telling, “This one said that or that.” It is a test.

Prophet (s) said:

Man aslaha bayn athnayn `ataa ullahi bi kulli qaleematin idquro qaba?

If someone brings harmony between two who are against each other, Allah (swt), with every word you speak to bring harmony between them, it will be as if you freed someone from Hellfire.

And Allah will free you for every word from Hellfire, so we have to be very careful!

Abu Darda (r) related that the Prophet (s) said:

عن أبي الدرداء سمعت رسول الله (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) يقول: ما أوحي إلي أن أكون تاجرا و لا أجمع المال متكاثرا و لكن أوحي إلي: أن سبح بحمد ربك و كن من الساجدين - و اعبد ربك حتى يأتيك اليقين.

`An Abi’d-Darda sami`tu Rasoolullahi (s) yaqool: “Maa uhiya ilayya an akoona taajiran wa laa ajma`a al-maala mutakathiran wa laakin oohiya ilayya an ‘sabih bihamdi Rabbika wa kum min as-saajideen.’”

Allah did not reveal to me to make trade of Allah’s Words or to collect wealth or, but He revealed to me

“But celebrate the praises of thy Lord, and be of those who prostrate themselves in adoration.” (Surat al-Hijr, 15:98)” (ibn Mardawayh and ad-Daylami)

Revelation came for husn al-khuluq and husn al-khaatima, the best of characters and the best of endings, not to trade Allah’s Words for money, or to trade to accumulate more and more and not to be satisfied out of greed! “Allah (swt) revealed to me to praise Allah, glorify him and make sajda.” That is our duty and Prophet (s) is guiding us to what is best for us, not to what is bad for us. Salman al-Farsi (r) said, “The best among you is the one who dies in Hajj, or the one who dies in a masjid, and it is not nice for the one who dies a merchant, because Allah is going to ask him about everything he did and how he collected every penny!”

Grandshaykh, may Allah bless his soul, used to tell us a story that in his village there was an old man who was very rich, who said to his son, “My will is one thing from you. I’m giving you all this money and you can do whatever you want with it. I only ask that when I die, one person should stay with me for twenty-four hours until Munkar and Nakeer go.” Every person is questioned by Munkar and Nakeer in their grave. “One person should stay the night and then after Fajr prayer, after Ishraaq, let him go.”

So the son asked everyone in the village, “Would you like to be in the grave with my father for one night?” and everyone said, “No, no, no!” except a woodcutter who owned a rope and an axe, who cut wood daily, took it to the city to sell, and came back to spend the money on his family. He didn’t have enough for the next day, so he was always working. He said, “No problem! I will go.” So when the father died they brought him, and it was not like today, especially in some villages in central Asia where they make the grave like a room under the ground. The woodcutter entered the deceased’ grave with his axe and rope, and sat making tasbeeh when suddenly the room was lit up.

Munkar and Nakeer entered, looked at the deceased person and said, “He is dead.” Then they looked at the other one and said, “Where did he come from and what is he doing here?” They looked at each other and said, “This one is dead so we can question him anytime, lso let’s catch that one before he runs away!” They said to him, “Come here! Who is your Lord?”

He answered, “Allah (swt).”

“Who is your Prophet?”

“Sayyidina Muhammad (s).”

“What is your kitab?”

“The Holy Qur’an.”

“What is your religion?”

“Islam.”

“Okay, you are good. What do you have?”

“I have nothing.”

“You have a rope and an axe!”

He said, “Yes.”

“Where did you get the rope from? Who gave you the money for it? How long is it? How many threads are in it?”

They hadn’t begun to question him about the axe yet, as they spent all night asking about the rope! So he was so happy when Fajr came and they opened the grave for him. The deceased man’s son was waiting and gave him the bag of gold coins.

The man said, “I don’t want it! I don’t want it! Just for a rope they interrogated me all night! How much time are they going to spend asking me about the gold? How can I answer them? I have no answer!”

So it means don’t be stingy or greedy, but give in Allah’s Way and He will open for you. Prophet (s) said:

انما بعثت لاتمم مكارم الاخلاق

Innamaa bu`ithtu li utammimu makaarim al-akhlaaq.

I have been sent to perfect the best of conduct (your behavior and character). (Bazzaar)

I mentioned this many times and Mawlana Shaykh Nazim sometimes throws some different explanations into what we normally learn. When Prophet (s) says, Innamaa bu`ithtu li utammim makaarim al-akhlaaq, “I have been sent to complete your good manners,” he is not waiting for you to complete your good manners, he already completed your good manners for you because he said, “I have been sent to complete,” he didn’t say, “to perfect.” “To complete” means “the act of completion” has been done by Prophet (s) for his ummah! So in Allah’s Eyes, Prophet (s) already completed the perfect characters of the ummah that says, “Laa ilaaha illa-Llah Muhammadun Rasoolullah.”

Although we see among us that we have no good manners, no respect and adab, in reality the souls have already been cleared and cleaned by Prophet (s), so that the soul will approach the Day of Judgment with the shafa`ah of Prophet (s) in good manners and good character! That doesn’t mean we must not do our best to get rid of bad manners and to improve our daily good manners. For the Day of Judgement we have been cleared by shafa`ah of Prophet (s), but in dunya we must work hard to reach that goal.

قالوا : يا رسول الله ما خير ما أعطي الإنسان ؟ قال : " خلق حسن "

Qaaloo: Yaa Rasoolullah! Maa khayru maa ootiya ’l-insaan? Qaala: khuluqin hasan.”

They asked the Prophet (s), “, what is the best that the human beings have been given?” He said, “Good manners.”

People will remember you from your good manners and they will curse you from your bad manners, which shows it is important to develop good manners in dunya, so to improve yourself is the best of what human beings have been given. That is why Allah (swt) said to Prophet (s):

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلى خُلُقٍ عَظِي

Wa innaka la-`alaa khuluqin `azheem.

You are of the most exalted character. (Surat al-Qalam, 68:4)

“For sure, yaa Muhammad, you are on the highest level of character and manners!” As Allah’s Greatness has no limits, the manners of the Prophet (s) are so great because they come from Allah’s Greatness and they have no limits. Prophet (s) is always in an ascension of more and more knowledge about perfection and good manners. Good manners open oceans of knowledge for you from Allah (swt) for good people That is why He said:

أولياء الله تحت قبابي لا يعلمهم غيري

Awliyaa’ee tahta qibaabee, laa ya`lamuhum ghayree.

My saints are under my domes; no one knows them except me. (Hadith Qudsi)

‘Qibaab’ is “domes.” Look at human beings, do they carry a dome? Everyone carries a dome, our head is the dome! The body is a structure with a dome on it; you have a body and you have a dome. He said, Awliyaa’ee tahta qibaabee, “My servants are under My Domes!” This means He is telling us in an indirect way, “I put everything in your mind, your dome, in your head, and I gave you that head.” Can people be known without their heads? No way, you don’t know who is who, unless you are looking at their heads. Laa ya`alahum ghayree, “No one knows them through their heavenly names except Me!” Do you have eyes other than these two eyes, or ears other than these two ears, or nostrils other than these two nostrils, or a mouth other than this mouth? No. How many are they? Count them... seven! There are seven lataa`if, main points in human beings, and were you able to open the seven points in the face as Prophet (s) said in the hadith:

عن ‏ ‏أبي هريرة ‏ ‏قال ‏‏قال رسول الله ‏ ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏إن الله قال ‏ ‏من عادى لي وليا فقد ‏ ‏آذنته ‏ ‏بالحرب وما تقرب إلي عبدي بشيء أحب إلي مما افترضت عليه وما يزال عبدي يتقرب إلي بالنوافل حتى أحبه فإذا أحببته كنت سمعه الذي يسمع به وبصره الذي يبصر به ويده التي يبطش بها ورجله التي يمشي بها وإن سألني لأعطينه ولئن استعاذني لأعيذنه وما ترددت عن شيء أنا فاعله ترددي عن نفس المؤمن يكره الموت وأنا أكره مساءته ‏

ولا يزال عبدي يتقرب إلي بالنوافل حتى أحبه، فإذا أحببته كنت سمعه الذي يسمع به وبصره

الذي يبصر به، ويده التي يبطش بها ورجله التي يمشي بها،

Man `ada lee waliyan aadhantahu bi ’l-harb wa maa taqarraba ilayya `abdee bi-shayyin ahabba ilayya mimmaa aftaradtu `alayhi wa maa yazaalu `abdee yataqarabu ilayya bi’ n-nawaafil hatta uhibbah. Fa idhaa ahbaabtahu kuntu sama`uhulladhee yasma`u bihi wa basarahulladhee yubsiru bihi, wa yadahulladhee yabtishu bihaa wa rijlahullatee yamshee bihaa.

My servant does not cease to approach Me through voluntary worship until I will love him. When I love him, I will become the ears with which he hears, the eyes with which he sees, the hand with which he acts, and the legs with which he walks (and other versions include, “and the tongue with which he speaks.”). (Hadith Qudsi, Bukhari)

He mentioned that if you approach Him through voluntary worship He will love you and when He loves you He will give you ears that you can hear with, two opened, He gives eyes that you can see with, two more opened, and then He can give you a mouth that you can talk with, so then five points are opened, then hands that you can touch with and feet that you can walk with. This goes parallel with Qalb, Sirr, Sirr is-Sirr, Akhfaa, and Khafaa, the five levels of the heart. And what must you do? Perfect your character and do your best for the ummah, and then your dome (head) will be shining, so don’t just sit to do business as there is also business with Akhirah. Are we doing business on a personal, private scale with Akhirah or we are forgetting?

يا أبا هريرة! عليك بحسن الخلق

Wa qaala Rasoolullah yaa Aba Hurayrah `alayka bi husni ‘l-khulq.

And the Prophet (s) said, “Yaa Abu Hurayrah! You have to keep the best of behavior and moral excellence because people will run after that.”

I was watching a video clip today of a young girl praising Prophet (s) in a way that makes you cry. There were around 15,000 people in that big gathering, including some good, reputable Ahlu ’s-Sunnah wa ’l-Jama`ah scholars. It was a conference that certainly cost a lot to organize, we know how they cost! And when I heard this young girl praising the Prophet (s) in this huge conference, 15,000 people listening and with all those scholars sitting there, I had tears in my eyes. I looked and said to myself, and this is not only my duty but the duty of everyone here and overseas, wherever they are, “What did we do for Mawlana Shaykh? If we say we love our teacher, what did we do to show that?” If anyone says, “We did dhikr,” that is for you and meditation is for you!

I explained yesterday that what awliyaullah expect from their followers is not dhikrullah and meditation because they give that to you. Yes, you have to do your awraad to do the rough polishing of the jewel which is not clean yet, but you need the specialist to cut that rock and that specialization is the service you give to the shaykh as a khidmah. So what you need is not only dhikrullah and meditation as that is your awraad, what you are obliged do. For example, can you say, “I don’t want to pray?” Everyone has to do fulfill the Five Pillars of Islam, and in tasawwuf, you have to improve your manners and characteristics, so we have to make dhikrullah to polish the stone. But the hard work is to cut the stone, and that is from the khidmah for the shaykh. We are expecting it from the shuyookh, but we are not going forward to provide khidmah for them!

So what can you do? I was looking at this event and said to myself, “Wow! How much we put our Shaykh down by not making an annual conference to raise his name! If he cannot come to it because of his age, it would at least be a memorial of his name, to keep that legacy of ‘Shaykh Nazim al-Haqqani’ there!” What did others do? Nothing. We tried twice and faced a lot of complaints everywhere from mureeds themselves, and we held international conferences in 1996 that attracted 10,000 attendees, and in 1998 that attracted 12,000 attendees. With Mawlana’s barakah, we took Mawlana shaykh to address U.S. senators and congressmen from the highest podium, and we brought 157 renowned international speakers to the first conference and we put Mawlana on top.

We did that, but where is it now? Who is trying to bring people together not on a small scale, but globally, where do we have an annual event where most of the mureeds can come together to sit and learn from each other? Instead everyone wants to take his group and run! To where are you running? For all of us, the grave is there waiting, so where are we going to run? We cannot. The one who is doing khidmah for the shaykh will succeed, while the one who is doing things for their own benefit, Allah knows them, we don’t know them and maybe I am one of those, I don’t know, but we try our best.

Who wrote a book? No one. Who made a magazine, a newsletter, a newspaper? Nothing. And look at these conferences that other scholars sponsor, how they are improving their legacy and keeping the name of their shuyookh. Their followers are raising them up! Some others give titles to their shuyookh, and introduce him as, “Shaykh ul-Islam,” and another as “Al-`Alaama” or “Shaykh al-Mashayikh.” Now granted, everyone thinks their shaykh is Sultan al-Awliya, which is why you cannot introduce Mawlana Shaykh Nazim to people who do not know him as “Sultan al-Awliya,” because they will come against you. But some of Mawlana’s followers don’t understand and they argue, “No! You have to call him ‘Sultan al-Awliya!’” Of course among yourselves it is okay, but in public you cannot say that. You can say he is Mufti ‘l-Ahnaaf, “Mufti of the Hanafi School of Thought,” and some scholars give him this very high title and people will understand it.

But now there is a website with a picture of Mawlana Shaykh and on other side the picture of a Christian Emperor. What is that? I cannot understand that. Who is running that? When you say, “Our Shaykh is Sultan al-Awliya,” first we have to learn to criticize ourselves, which is what they teach in universities as “self-criticism,” and yet we criticize our own people! How we are keeping quiet about this? I ask you and those on the Internet, am I not correct that we should complain to the staff of that website to take that picture away? It is a picture of someone who has nothing to do with Islam and they are raising his name with Mawlana Shaykh! You know, some people have called me here all the way from England to ask me whether the Shaykh is Muslim, and they know Mawlana Shaykh Nazim is a Muslim, but this is how awkward it looks, as though he isn’t a Muslim! They are giving a bad name to Mawlana Shaykh and our duty is to give him a good name! The Prophet (s) said:

من رأى منكم منكرا فليغيره بيده ، فإن لم يستطع فبلسانه ، فإن لم يستطع فبقلبه ، وذلك أضعف الإيمان . رواه مسلم

Man ra’a minkum munkaran fa ’l-yughayirahu bi yadihi fa man lam yast`ati fa bi lisaanihi fa in lam yast`ati fa bi qalbihi wa dhaalika ada`f al-imaan.

Whoever sees something wrong, should try to change it with his hand, and if he cannot then with his tongue and if he cannot then with his heart and that is the weakest level of faith. (Muslim)

“If you see something wrong, try to change it with your hand,” which means you remove that offensive picture from the website, fa in lam yast`ati fa bi lisaanihi, “if you cannot change it with your hand, change it by speaking.” We cannot change it by hand so we are addressing them, if they have ears to hear! fa in lam yast`ati fa bi qalbihi “if you cannot, feel it in your heart (make du`a).” So we are making du`a, “Yaa Rabbee! Take Mawlana out of this catastrophe, from between the hands of those who are ignorant, who don’t know what they are writing and putting there.”

Allah (swt) said:

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلى خُلُقٍ عَظِي

Wa innaka la-`alaa khuluqin `azheem.

You are of the most exalted character. (Surat al-Qalam, 68:4)

You have to show Mawlana Shaykh Nazim the highest level of manners! So you put his picture with that of a kaafir? We hope they erase it tomorrow. This is how much we put our Shaykh down while other groups do conferences and raise their shuyookh! And us, we are not doing even as much as an ant! So I feel bad, and often I was telling Hajjah Naziha and my family that what we are seeing now is mind-boggling, inappropriate things are being put on websites that everyone can watch, because I think they don’t have a mind anymore. So they have to ask forgiveness from everyone the grave harm they have done by what they are producing and putting. It is becoming a coffee store (a common place to socialize); it must be an educational website, but it is becoming a website that has no head and no legs!

We hope that, like this country’s neighbours have done, that we establish a charity here so we can sponsor programs, because in my experience many people want to help but they cannot unless there is a foundation. So establishing a foundation is necessary, such as to launch a community cultural center to feature the teachings of different scholars in Islam and different awliyullah, many of whom even Ibn Taymiyyah approved and you can find their names in his books. Then we will be able to show our presence here like many others. You have a main qasida group and now you have a ladies’ qasida group, you have the audience, so everything is ready! So may Allah (swt) bless you to be the pioneers to do that here. At least everyone can say, “I belong to this moderate group.”

May Allah (swt) make Mawlana Shaykh Naim happy with this work and to present those whom we invite to speak. Simply Islam is now doing a great job, so why not put our hands in theirs to make a bigger conference? Singapore is a great country and many people come from all over the world to this place. Let it become an educational institute as we did in 1991, with Mawlana’s barakah we created the first website and debated with high scholars on tasawwuf. Many of you don’t know this, and we have fifteen websites running amd we own fifty! And now eShaykh.com is so busy, flooded with qestions, letters, and requests for dream interpretation, receiving hundreds of questions daily!

People are thirsty and want someone to speak with, and they want their Shaykh, whom they cannot access, to speak with them! They cannot access anyone to answer them! So let us establish it here as this region needs to found that charity and let us begin here by going up the stairs, one by one, until we reach the top.

Wa min Allahi 't-tawfeeq, bi hurmati 'l-habeeb, bi hurmati 'l-Fatihah.

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